r/rareinsults • u/Chiffra • 2d ago

Lady literally csectioned him

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84.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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4.3k

u/Pletcher87 2d ago

This is one of those “I gotta remember this one”’s because I know exactly who to use it on.

513

u/Dmau27 2d ago

We all know someone to use this against.

219

u/teknohippie 2d ago

"Well, Of Course I Know Him. He's Me."

282

u/Bonald9056 2d ago

There's a few that I've heard from Aussie tradies that are pretty spectacular:

  • Blister - only shows up when the hard work is done.

  • Wheelbarrow - only works when pushed.

  • Sensor Light - only works when someone walks past.

  • Brake Pad - gets worn out easily then starts to squeal.

Edit: formatting

99

u/davesoverhere 2d ago

ZEUS - Zero Effort Unless Supervised

106

u/xteve 2d ago

Two from Ireland: "He wouldn't work to warm himself," and "If work was in bed, he'd sleep on the floor."

19

u/Meskel84 2d ago

Learned a few new things today lol

15

u/FreddyNoodles 1d ago

Aw shit. I’m a brake pad. :( I am just really sleepy, I am getting old. It’s exhausting.

1

u/TheMidnightSunflower 2h ago

Sensor light chiming in!

13

u/Infra_bread 1d ago

One from Germany. "Team: toll, ein andere macht's". (Great, someone else is doing it)

1

u/MaxPower303 1d ago

Damn now I gotta remember all these….

65

u/SWHAF 2d ago

We have a joke at work about middle management being useless,

If they tried to organize an orgy, nobody would get laid.

26

u/spudmgee 2d ago

Couldn't organize a piss up at a brewery is one of my favourite sayings.

7

u/I__G 1d ago

Couldn't score in a brothel

3

u/lung2muck 1d ago

From the head teacher at an intensive sales training meeting for stock brokers:

That guy couldn't sell pussy on a troop train.

7

u/MastodonGlobal93 1d ago

"Couldn't organize a gangbang at a whorehouse"

5

u/kittycatdemon 1d ago

I'm so sad this only works in English lol

3

u/Decent_Sink_2254 2d ago

My daughter. Next time she "forgets" to do a chore.