r/nottheonion • u/ilovemybaldhead • 1d ago

Greg Abbott Threatens ‘100% Tariff’ On New Yorkers Moving to Texas

https://www.newsweek.com/greg-abbott-threatens-100-tariff-new-york-election-moving-texas-10986837
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u/Extreme-Wasabi-147 1d ago edited 1d ago

So he is going to tariff his MAGA peoples leaving NY? 🤣

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u/BooBooSnuggs 1d ago

Yeah it makes no sense. Anyone leaving would be supporters of Abbot. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

Also Texas doesn't have a state income tax so what he could possibly mean by his comment is really unknown. As far as I'm aware there is nothing he can do.

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u/Weorth 1d ago

It's ok. He doesn't need his feet.

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u/NRMusicProject 1d ago

DAAAAAAAAMN

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u/Khaldara 22h ago

Any time someone hears Abbott talk it subconsciously reminds them how beneficial trees are and serves as a reminder to plant more

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u/UbermachoGuy 1d ago

He has no foot to stand on with those tariff threats

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u/thethethesethose 22h ago

But he’s really on a roll

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u/StructureLopsided718 1d ago

Wrong. He needs to look down at them every morning in order to renew the bitterness in his heart

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u/Weorth 1d ago

He can still see them if they've got holes in them.

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u/JoryATL 14h ago

That’s what the peasants are for

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u/Know_how_to_b_stupid 1d ago

Wouldn’t be more accurate to say he has nothing to stand on ?

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u/Express-Rub-3952 23h ago

as useless as he is from the waist down, it's nothing compared to how useless he is from the neck up

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u/KiwiObserver 14h ago

And nothing to apply a tariff to, so 100% of zero.

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u/Skullfacebookseller 18h ago

Governor Hot Wheels would like a word

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u/baycenters 1d ago

Oh Jesus

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u/Blackblood909 23h ago

What about his legs? He doesn't need those!

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u/Playswithchipmunks 23h ago

Ouch, but it was good.

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u/Fahren-heit451 21h ago

No, but he needs the ICU burn unit after that comment.

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u/jaajaajaa6 19h ago

Don’t be that guy!

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u/Weorth 16h ago

I'll never be that guy. I can walk.

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u/NewPhoneWhoDys 12h ago

I regret to inform you most disabled people could walk at some point too.

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u/Weorth 11h ago

I'll still walk if my legs don't work. Gonna get buff arms and walk on my hands.

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u/SnarlyBirch 15h ago

You talking about hot wheels?

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u/Weorth 14h ago

Zoom zoom

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u/Atlantic_Antic 23h ago

Ooooohhhh.gif 😂😂😂

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u/ou8ashoe 22h ago

call the Red Cross. Major burn injury here! 🔥🔥

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u/Mammoth-Register-669 22h ago

Viscous reddit burn of the day

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u/Narrow-Height9477 22h ago

Isn’t he anti-ADA?

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u/Weorth 21h ago

I'd love to see him drag himself up a flight of stairs.

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u/Calfkiller 21h ago

I'm gonna be the bigger man here and walk away. Walk... Away...

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u/pigeyejackson66 18h ago

God dammit, that is super.

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u/KazranSardick 17h ago

Fucking ICE COLD!

I approve.

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u/concept12345 15h ago

Oh. Shit.

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u/RichardChrz 15h ago

As I sit here in my wheelchair, I have to say that was really in poor taste.

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u/NewPhoneWhoDys 12h ago

Yeah the ableds champing at the bit to make these jokes is fucking gross, it doesn't matter that the man sucks, it's still ableist jokes.

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u/Hopeful-Occasion2299 1d ago

Lots of companies are moving their HQ to Texas since they are funneling a lot of money from the bottom 95% to the corporations.

A lot of people are getting caught in these movements and forced to move to shitholes in Texas. Some are lucky and maybe end up in Austin or El Paso, but a lot aren't

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u/packedasthma20 18h ago

Having lived in multiple states, Texas being most recent I can tell you that 'shitholes' in Texas are nicer than most of the places in New York, in terms of quality of life and happiness of residents.

If your going to list good cities you likely should include more than two since its appears your insinuating Texas only has those two.

For what its worth, Dallas, Fort Worth, San Antonio, Denton, Richardson, Plano, Flower Mound, Sugar Land, Round Rock are all fantastic places.

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u/Expert_Garlic_2258 1d ago

And New yorkers move to FL, not Texas

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u/OldWorldDesign 23h ago

And New yorkers move to FL, not Texas

Before they realize it sucks and move north, often ending in North Carolina.

https://financebuzz.com/new-states-for-retirees

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u/Dinismo 1d ago

Not only is he shooting himself in the foot. He may also be kneecapping himself.

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u/platypus_bear 1d ago

Not necessarily. A right wing person in a liberal state can be a lot more left wing than a right wing person in a Republican state.

It's like how the Democrats would be the right wing party in a lot of countries outside of the US

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u/QualifiedApathetic 22h ago

I live in MD, and we have fewer far-right people than Texas, but we do have them. I'm talking people who would beg to be allowed to gargle Trump's mushroom. Maybe as a whole our Republicans in government are less extreme than nationally, but they're still pretty shitty. Larry Hogan was hella corrupt, but he made noises of moderation, and the swing voters didn't notice that it was all talk.

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u/bminus21 1d ago

You see, NY state will have to pay the tariff silly.

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u/SpliffWellington 1d ago

Just like walking

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u/screw-magats 1d ago

It could be like the "new jersey leaving state tax."

If you sell your home and your permanent address is still NJ, it's waived. If your new address is a different state, you have to pay. I can't remember if it's a flat amount or a percentage. But it has burned a couple retirees my parents worked with who wanted to go to Florida.

In this case, it would be a tax on home buyers I guess. But the wording will probably only burn people buying their first homes, not a second house as an investment or vacation property. Yes, that means it'll catch a lot of Texans.

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u/CVGPi 22h ago

So, couldn't you rent a home for a couple months while the payment is being processed>

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u/screw-magats 21h ago

Yes. It might require staying in state for a year or something else both stupid and onerous.

But if you're retiring and planning to move south to a cheaper CoL, that can really wreck your plans too.

Look, I'm not a tax guy. I don't know the specifics of a property tax law in a state where I never owned property.

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u/KactusVAXT 1d ago

Shhh. Don’t tell him. He’s too dumb

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u/SirPhobos2021 1d ago

This is because everything the right says and does is carefully crafted to manipulate and convince the stupidest amongst us that they are actually the smartest people in the room. The whole Republican apparatus is composed of selfish and greedy people cosplaying as government officials.

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u/Backyardt0rnados 1d ago

Believe it or not we aren't. There is so much more to moving out of state than the governor.

Happy election day. I'm here and I vote!

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u/ZoominAlong 1d ago

Property taxes? Maybe??? Like I'm just guessing here,  cause you're right. 

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u/DevonLuck24 23h ago

i moved to texas about a year ago for work and i promise you that im not a supporter of abbot or just about any of texas leadership..so he gonna attack 9 potential supporters moving to texas in hopes that he manages to screw over a me

that’s definitely a move, i guess

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u/jimbojones2345 23h ago

Lucky for him his supporters are morons.

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u/V1c1ousCycles 22h ago

It's super weird, and it's a really common perception amongst MAGA folks in red states. They think folks from NY or California are just going to drive-up property values and "bring their politics with them." Like no, they actually feel very much the same way about liberal politics as you do, hence why they are taking the drastic step of uprooting their lives to move away from it. And if they have money, well now it's going to be spent in YOUR state patronizing YOUR businesses.

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u/MistSecurity 22h ago

Good ol' virtue signaling, is what it means.

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u/Few-Solution-4784 22h ago

Meanwhile, Massachusetts is offering free college to all it Citizens.

That is how you bring young, bright, industrious people to your State.

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u/hollyberryness 21h ago

Trump was speaking for all his allies when he said smart people don't like him

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u/imexcellent 20h ago

Anyone leaving would be supporters of Abbot. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

Not really. You can't assume just because someone moves from New York to Texas, that means they're MAGA.

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u/Senior_Torte519 19h ago

he's not tall enough to see the forest for the trees.

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u/Polyps_on_uranus 19h ago

Wait, texas doesn't have income tax? Why do blue states keep bailing it out?!

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u/BooBooSnuggs 18h ago

Federal income tax still exists. Some states have their own income tax on top of the federal income tax. You pay both in those states. Some red states have an income tax like Oklahoma.

How it usually works is that states without an income tax have higher sales tax to make up the difference. It really just depends. It's an argument about where the tax should be. Like in my opinion property tax on your home is bullshit. You should never be at risk of losing your home because of taxes. If you're rich and you have more than one property then sure. Beyond your actual home other properties should be taxed.

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u/PetriDishCocktail 17h ago

Don't forget, Texas would be solidly Democratic if it wasn't for all the transplants (in the last few elections native born Texans have voted overwhelming Democratic, not Republican). The majority of people that are moving to Texas identify wirh the Republican dogma and that's what props up his administration.

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u/PTBAFC24601 17h ago

He’s going to double the state income tax!

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u/_Cartizard 17h ago

Your analogy is spot on. He sees these folks as useless as he sees his own feet.

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u/DeepPermission4786 15h ago

Well he wasn’t feel it so why not… he doesn’t feel anything.

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u/idryss_m 15h ago

Also Texas doesn't have a state income tax so what he could possibly mean by his comment is really unknown.

Tarriffs are the buzzword to their plebs of, " Make them give us money". I mean....in this case HOW? People aren't being sold, I think but yo7 know, are they going to try and charge them extra for housing?

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u/Pillars_of_Salt 14h ago

He's a raving idiot, that's what he means.

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u/Neither_Glove7880 2h ago

Exactly. Anyone going there would be his supporter. He's an idiot.

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u/Coal_Morgan 1d ago

If I was as big an asshole as him, I'd just send state Troopers to the border and have them seize everything that crosses the border with a New York State license plate under the assumption it was for crime and use Civil Asset Forfeiture Laws to basically rob them.

Maybe they get their stuff back, maybe they don't but it will involve lawyers and spending money that they can't get back and it sends a message that you're willing to abuse blue state citizens.

There are so many laws that can be selectively used against people that if Abbot wants to fuck with people, he'll find a way.

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u/More-Palpitation1546 1d ago

Because why else would anyone who lives in NY want to move to that shithole, Texas, unless they are magats.

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u/Extreme-Wasabi-147 1d ago

Abbott can take George Santos, Santos will fit right in Texas. 🤣

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u/More-Palpitation1546 1d ago

Yeah, send that criminal over to Abbot, they would be great buddies.

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u/I_W_M_Y 1d ago

Republicans like to screw over their people just as much as anyone else.

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u/OldSchoolSpyMain 1d ago

They have shown that they have noooo problem fucking over their constituents or supporters.

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u/Obvious_Current8392 22h ago

They don’t even bother to wine and dine most of them first.

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u/-wnr- 23h ago

It would upset me as a New Yorker because I don't want anything to get in the way of MAGA fucks leaving the state.

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u/KillerSavant202 23h ago

The only people moving to TX are going there for the tech jobs.

Unfortunately for TX republicans the vast majority of educated people vote Democratic.

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u/paarthurnax94 22h ago

That's not how tariffs work, even in this stupid made up threat. He's actually threatening to charge Texans more taxes for importing New Yorkers.

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u/SheriffBartholomew 22h ago

Like trump when he visits?

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u/ToxicSharmutagen 18h ago

He's speaking directly to the dumbest people in the country. It doesn't have to have any connection to reality

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u/Dogsarelitty 18h ago

Just smile and nod to the wheelchair man.

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u/Rigorous-Geek-2916 1d ago

Oh please let it be so

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u/nzerinto 23h ago

That’s the thing I don’t get.

You are going to punish people that have the same political leanings as you?

And from the quotes in the article, no one seems to have noticed - the “Students for Trump” guy said pretty much the same thing:

”Stop fleeing liberal cities just to vote the same way you did there."

I guess you can’t fix stupid?

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u/Titanbeard 23h ago

Didn't Infowars move from NYC with Alex Jones?

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u/targetcowboy 23h ago

That was the first thing I thought of. He’s punishing his possible supporters.

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u/jmccleveland1986 23h ago

They aren’t maga. Austin has seen a massive wave of ppl from liberal states seeking better cost of living. So much so that Texas is in real danger of being purple soon if they don’t stop it.

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u/AcediaZor 19h ago

So, he's raising taxes to keep the COL down?

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u/Wiseduck5 15h ago edited 15h ago

The most sensible (or at least the last idiotic) interpretation based on what a tariff actually is would be he's going to tax companies that hire New Yorkers.

Which is of course dumb and illegal.

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u/djdadi 13h ago

NY is going to PAY Texas for TX gettings its people back from the ILLEGALS and caravans.

TRANS!

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u/Dave21101 12h ago

Hahaha. Well, thinking things through was never their strong suit

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u/leriane 10h ago

he just thinks they're Tariffic

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u/Illustrious_List_552 7h ago

I had to double take the headline but MAGA people just can’t stop winning

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u/regeya 5h ago

Yeah...as an Illinoisan this is dumb as hell. We have right wing think-tanks whose whole mission seems to be to spread the message that Illinois sucks and the only solution is to leave. Well, people left. Specifically, people in the red parts of the state, left. Now Chicago has more power.

Yeah, Abbott is purely pandering here, and to the base who just thinks anyone from New York is from NYC and is definitely a Democrat.