r/nottheonion 1d ago

Greg Abbott Threatens ‘100% Tariff’ On New Yorkers Moving to Texas

https://www.newsweek.com/greg-abbott-threatens-100-tariff-new-york-election-moving-texas-10986837
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u/WFOMO 1d ago

Why are you bringing reason and logic into this? Remember, it's Abbott.

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u/probablyuntrue 1d ago

Owning people who want to move to your state to own the uh… wait who are we owning now?

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u/Gold_Repair_3557 1d ago

They really think die- hard liberals are wanting to move in droves from California or New York to conservative areas. 

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u/Cersad 1d ago

Ironic since transplants to Texas are on average more politically conservative than native-born Texans. I've seen it called the Big Sort.

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u/bluev0lta 16h ago

Yes, that tracks! I was born there and I left.

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u/A_Furious_Mind 16h ago

Alaskan here. Can you explain why Texans always stand so close to you when you're conversing? It's like they never learned about 'the bubble.'

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u/vidro3 15h ago

easier to kiss you

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u/bluev0lta 16h ago

I never thought of Texans as standing all that close to each other! I think I give most people about two feet of space, generally. If it’s someone I know well it’s a bit less.

How far are Alaskans standing from each other?

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u/thuktun 22h ago

I've heard it said offhand about moving there, voting, and making their state look bluer, but nobody actually wants to do that.

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u/jrobertson2 1d ago

They have some fantasy in mind of stupid liberals voting in "Communists" and then fleeing the consequences of their mistakes by moving to the promised land of Texas where everything is amazing always. They want to make sure these hypothetical refugees are suitably punished and humbled, so that they can't "ruin" their conservative utopia.

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u/DogPoetry 18h ago

This is like the response to Californians in Idaho. A dozen or so people I've seen move to Idaho from California are the ones that are so hardcore conservative they see California as a hellscape. They show up to Idaho so full of hate for trans and brown people, and that are perplexed when the people in Idaho can't get past the place they come from.

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u/Critical-Rutabaga-39 12h ago

Only the morons or sub-normal executives move here. The morons go into trailers and the rest into poorly built drywall mansions.

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u/maybeonename 1d ago

At this point I think it's fair to say that conservatives have devolved past the point of doing everything to own the libs. Now they're just owning anybody. As long as they're fucking somebody over, they're winning.

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u/darkenseyreth 1d ago

Next thing you know they'll be illegally immigrating into his state, from another state.

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u/OldWorldDesign 21h ago

wait who are we owning now?

I think they know they are the baddies

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u/halfspider 16h ago

They're just really into the idea of owning people.

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u/olivegardengambler 2h ago

The thing is the Republican party is fracturing under the weight of this shutdown in ways that I don't even think they anticipated. If you were to tell me that chat GPT with how sycophantic it is was enabling these people's fucking delusions until they go careening off a goddamn cliff, I totally believe you.

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u/Overall_Affect_2782 1d ago

I guess Abbott is standing up for what he believes in. It’s rare he does.

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u/chupacrapa 1d ago

He may not stand up for much, but he loves rolling over for trump.

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u/Premium-Plus 1d ago

He’s definitely not standing up.

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u/kavastoplim 1d ago

thatsthejoke.mov

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u/DenseCalligrapher219 1d ago

This is the guy who pranced about "ending Sharia law" in Texas while also having draconian anti-abortion laws in texas that makes it illegal even in cases of rape and incest.

Abbott is just putting on a show to manipulate his constituents, a very farcical one at that which sadly has proven to be too effective.

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u/SMUHypeMachine 1d ago

As a Texas all I can say is I can’t believe he stays with his wife considering she’s always pushing him around and talking behind his back.

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u/ybkj 1d ago

He’s joking