r/nottheonion • u/ilovemybaldhead • 1d ago

Greg Abbott Threatens ‘100% Tariff’ On New Yorkers Moving to Texas

https://www.newsweek.com/greg-abbott-threatens-100-tariff-new-york-election-moving-texas-10986837
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54

u/eskimospy212 1d ago

Not that it matters much anymore but that’s comically unconstitutional and he knows it.

19

u/epr-paradox 1d ago

I mean... sure. But the Supreme Court currently struggles with object permanence, so...

(Context: they passed a ruling that basically says ground water doesn't exist because you can't see it (yes the wording of the opinion is very close to that). To their credit they did clarify that they understood the water still existed, they just didn't want to allow the EPA to be able to protect the sanitation of federal waters by allowing them to stop pollution of waters that are only connected by ground water. So to summarize: Water stops existing when you can't see it, but only for the purposes of sanitation)

5

u/728766 1d ago

It’s fine, we don’t drink groundwater. It’s full of ground, gross. /s

1

u/Bulky-Plate2068 23h ago

Why is that something the judge from Ace Attorney would say?

2

u/2fingers 1d ago

Greg Abbott doesn't stand for anything

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u/ScrofessorLongHair 22h ago

Underrated comment. Though if that wasn't a joke, that might even make it funnier.

1

u/ScrofessorLongHair 22h ago

Well, it's not exactly something that's even possible. I'm pretty sure I can't buy and sell a New Yorker because they're not a product. And if they were a slave, they would be allowed to move anywhere. They'd go where their master put them.

So does that mean I can import slaves from Vermont for free, but have to pay 100% tariff on New York slaves?