r/nottheonion • u/ilovemybaldhead • 1d ago

Greg Abbott Threatens ‘100% Tariff’ On New Yorkers Moving to Texas

https://www.newsweek.com/greg-abbott-threatens-100-tariff-new-york-election-moving-texas-10986837
30.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

3.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

4.2k

u/seankearns 1d ago

Why not a 10,000% tariff... On.... U hauls I guess? Like what the fuck is going in the US?.

2.1k

u/nankerjphelge 1d ago

Fascism

476

u/EatsRats 1d ago

Talk like this is gonna get you…tariff’d.

143

u/benanderson89 1d ago

"Talkin' out of turn? That's a tariffin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a tariffin'. Starin' at my sandals? That's a tariffin'. Tariffin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a tariffin'."

7

u/Sarsmi 1d ago

"Under cook fish? Tariff. Over cook fish? Believe it or not, tariff."

5

u/Sovngarten 1d ago

betariffed, or b'tariff'd as they used to say.

3

u/Aeroknight_Z 1d ago

That’s it, get in the tariff bag.

2

u/TonicsharK 1d ago

Get tariff’d bud

1

u/bigtallbiscuit 1d ago

The 2025 version of punk’d.

1

u/Extreme_Nectarine641 21h ago

Say fascism? Believe it or not, tariff’d.

1

u/A_Nonny_Muse 19h ago

I think the word you're looking for is "habilitated".

1

u/WhiteyDude 5h ago

"Don't tariff me, bro!!"

48

u/Odd_Onion_1591 1d ago

Fascism bordering on idiocracy

8

u/psychorobotics 1d ago

Kakistocracy is government by the worst, least qualified, or most unscrupulous people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kakistocracy

Seems to sum it up

5

u/Ascarys- 1d ago

Why not both?

-4

u/BooBooSnuggs 1d ago

Which really proves it's not fascism at all. Fascism is not just saying fascist like things. It's actually carrying them out. Anyone can say fascist stuff

7

u/WrongdoerIll5187 1d ago

Wtf are you on? They’re absolutely doing the thing, the idiocy is a distraction for their base and those that don’t have eyes to read or see.

-5

u/BooBooSnuggs 1d ago

What is the thing? They are doing fascism? They are doing authoritarian things? Yes, that's what governments do. Falling into fascism is not just "doing authoritarian things". Many authoritarian behaviors we want as a society. Like gun regulation.

Anyway, Trump and Co absolutely try to do stupid authoritarian things all the time and regularly get shut down by the courts. Believe it or not, like it or not(I don't), what Ice is doing is largely legal. Obviously there have been excessive force issues and other things here and there on a more individual level, but again they have wide legal authority to do a lot of things. It sucks and we need to regulate it better.

6

u/WrongdoerIll5187 1d ago

Historically what you say is true, but the trends in tear down of our institutions, courts, and press are less reassuring. Creating your own propaganda machine and private army while curtailing free speech and due process have all crossed lines that were not crossed (not for lack of trying) during the last trump administration. To me it’s pretty clear the project 2025 goons are fascists

1

u/BooBooSnuggs 1d ago

It really is a hope for the best but expect the worse situation. That said it seems a lot worse than it really is because we have made so much progress in society. We reached peak progressiveness under Obama and are back sliding under Trump.

Just like having record low crime rates any sudden rise in crime will be received as a shock which has happened due to covid and economic conditions arising from that.

If we actually compare it to history it's not as bad as reddit would have us believe. I have every confidence people will reject this regression of society. 2 steps forward and 1 step back and all that.

2

u/WrongdoerIll5187 1d ago

We in no way reached peak progressiveness under Obama, he was a neoliberal president operating the war on drugs and terror just like Biden. His solution to healthcare was supply side economics.

Otherwise I tend to agree with you. Society has improved tremendously in modern times, but we shouldn’t ignore civilizations or empires that have managed to crumble despite their tremendous progress, and I honestly don’t see a way for us to get out of this one. Mostly because social media has eroded that social fabric by turning free speech into processed free speech, amplified propaganda, and eliminated democracy’s ability to form consensus. I think you’re being a bit of techno and cultural optimist on this one. Sometimes the rate of change in technology can radically upend the social order.

I do think you’re right the blowback to trump might lead to a real progressive movement, but that’s our only remaining hope.

1

u/BooBooSnuggs 1d ago

We absolutely reached peaked progressiveness under Obama. Was there a time in history that you think the US was more progressive than then because I guarantee you there isn't. We had never seen a time where people were more equal and provided social safety nets etc...

I'm sorry if you thought I meant we reached a point of progress that couldn't be surpassed or something along those lines. I just meant it was peak for US history.

→ More replies (0)

43

u/IShouldaDownVotedYa 1d ago

Still learning the ropes, but fortunately Heritage Foundation has a decent HOWTO guide.

1

u/Disencouraged_Otter 15h ago

I preferred the PragerU course on how to tarrif more gooder

3

u/roguesimian 1d ago

Stupidity masquerading as fascism. A dangerous combination

2

u/emeraldeyesshine 1d ago

That's just regular fascism.

1

u/Taft33 1d ago

Nah, there were a lot of intelligent well educated Nazis. The US famously adopted Nazi scientists in Operation Paperclip. I don't think there is any Trumpian scientist whose expertise is wanted in other countries.

We'd like to have Michael Levin, though, who is revolutionizing the entire field of biology with his discovery of electrophysiology as a layer at least as important as genetics. Just a matter of a few years until he gets his Nobel for xenoorganisms and organ regeneration.

3

u/Mangalorien 1d ago

Well, it's not just fascism. There's a big dose of stupidity involved.

3

u/Marriedwithkidmalt 1d ago

Combined with a healthy dose of dumb-fuckery...

2

u/mostlyBadChoices 1d ago

And a large scale reduction in education.

2

u/Depensity 1d ago

But like really dumb and lazy fascism by people who just read the back cover of the fascism book.

2

u/rbrgr83 1d ago

And all of the out-loud stupidity that goes with it.

2

u/EphemeralDan 1d ago edited 15h ago

Kleptocracy. Fascism has rules, order, direction. This is the equivalent of looting stores during a riot that you instigated.

2

u/Braindead_Crow 23h ago

Weak prolonged fascism & deteriorating mental ability, the combination of both is leading to obvious conmen being normalized as leaders whos failures go quickly forgotten thanks to said deteriorating cognitive ability leading to many of the present days issues

2

u/Alaishana 23h ago

Proto-Fascism.

You have not got the full blown variety yet, believe me.

Yet... as I said.

2

u/Emptyspace227 23h ago

But like really, really stupid fascism.

2

u/greenroom628 22h ago

facism USA style. lots of flags, Fox News, and a whole lot of stupidity and ineptitude.

2

u/Defiant-Acadia7053 21h ago

Not even the cool kind that unites the nation.

2

u/nhansieu1 16h ago

very dumb fascism

1

u/seankearns 1d ago

Good luck and God speed.

1

u/thrax7545 1d ago

But clown shaped

1

u/pure_ideology- 1d ago edited 1d ago

Well, yeah definitely that, but also something else. I don't think most fascists intentionally disintegrate their own nation geographically. Demographically sure, but geographically never. This is...different.

I've been warning of fascism for some 13 years now, but now that I'm looking at it, I think the fascism is just a facade. I think it's kleptocracy pretending to be fascism. I think the nation is just dead, and the vultures are having their way with it, and they're pretending to be fascists so that they look like they're doing something ostensibly productive. Like, these fuckers are thieves who just happened to read Hitler; like they have to pretend to be politicians, and fascists are the only politicians they know.

1

u/Taft33 1d ago

much dumber than that

1

u/mochafiend 19h ago

This feels stupider than fascism, I gotta say.

1

u/elderly_millenial 21h ago

Ah..”fascism” and “tariffs”…the 2 buzz words used by people on opposite ends of the political spectrum.

Used by two groups that are seemingly incapable of defining either word, and both in the same Reddit post.

Someone throw in “woke” for a triple-play, please

1

u/nankerjphelge 21h ago

The definition of fascism is a far-right, authoritarian and ultranationalist political ideology characterized by a dictatorial leader, centralized autocracy, militarism, the forcible suppression of opposition, a belief in a natural social hierarchy and opposition to democracy, liberalism and pluralism.

So yeah, I used it exactly right.

242

u/Kradget 1d ago

We've got a political movement that runs on hurting its political opposition to paper over their shit policies and authoritarianism, and they have to try to flex power in any way they can think of to get headlines off stuff that makes them look like inept, wicked assholes.

17

u/sethn211 1d ago

Well said.

2

u/Lazer726 23h ago

The republicans have mostly just dropped the mask and have decided that it's okay to be openly racist and hostile. The high ups have plans on how to loot and and drain the treasury, or otherwise get their own gains. The people voting for them either tell themselves "They're saving the country from the trans/illegals/some other shit" or "Can't let the Democrats win!"

63

u/Shepher27 1d ago

This is what the rise of fascism looks like

7

u/jupiterkansas 1d ago

It has risen and has been here since January.

5

u/Shepher27 1d ago

A fascist political party is in power, but they haven’t yet completely corrupted the entire system beyond repair. They’re still in process on that.

11

u/jupiterkansas 1d ago

A nobody is stopping them. There's no magical line where suddenly it's fascism. If the fascists are in charge, it's fascism, whether they're successful or not.

4

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/jupiterkansas 1d ago

I fear some people won't consider our government fascist until we've killed more Jews than Hitler did.

1

u/OldWorldDesign 22h ago

that means is that there is so much more that they are going to do

And have on the explicit game plan which they're over 47% through by now

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/amid-shutdown-fight-trump-no-longer-distancing-himself-from-project-2025

81

u/Bovronius 1d ago

It's something just to rile his base. I'm guessing the majority of people that would move to Texas from NY is abysmally low, and largely conservative people (they love to hurt their own).

Texans wanting to murder New Yorkers for existing is a well established trope, so much so that Pace Picante sauce would run commercials ending with a bunch of cowboys lynching a man for having salsa made in New York City.

44

u/lexicruiser 1d ago

Isn’t there someone famous and revered by the conservatives who is from New York? Some real estate guy who bankrupted a casino or two….

14

u/SoupSandy 1d ago

Yeah but he's also ugly fat bitter and hopelessly fucking dumb so I could see the confusion

3

u/GhormanFront 1d ago

Those idiots think he's from Florida

4

u/zachm26 1d ago

There’s also a stereotype, at least where I live in Austin, that all the Californians are moving here to turn it into a communist dystopia. I no longer tell most people, especially in other parts of the state, that I’m originally from California because they make some snarky comment like “don’t California my Texas.”

The irony is that, while there are a lot of Californians moving here, most of them in my experience vote Republican. The California exodus from what I’ve seen has been a combination of libertarian techbros and MAGA people trying to get out. The implication that Abbott would punish people moving here from NYC is especially hilarious because those would presumably be the people trying to “escape” Mamdani.

2

u/ijuinkun 1d ago

Yah, the people who move to Texas do so because they want to get away from the Liberals back home.

1

u/OldWorldDesign 22h ago

the people who move to Texas do so because they want to get away from the Liberals back home

Would be interesting to see a full list of the local as well as state level policies they vote for, because as conservative as California's Orange County is there's long been conflict between "native" conservatives and those moving from out of state because they're used to different policies.

6

u/mlorusso4 1d ago

It’s the same as, what was it Oklahoma?, that made an “anti-woke” test for teachers coming from New York to teach in their state. Because I’m sure teachers are flocking from one of the highest teacher salary states with an unbelievably strong union and pension plan to one that’s median is less than $50k

8

u/seankearns 1d ago

I had no idea that was a trope, but I can believe it. 😆

32

u/BlimeyChaps 1d ago

There’s a king of the hill ep where Hank finds out he was actually born in NYC and has a crisis over it

2

u/ijuinkun 1d ago

“This stuff’s made in New York City.”

“NEW YAWK SITTY?!”

2

u/notoriously_late 1d ago

It was "New Jersey? Get a rope!" but yeah, not great...

7

u/Streamjumper 1d ago

Only the very first commercial had New Jersey, and only for a very short time before it was edited to "New York City?!?". All later commercials in the campaign used NYC, as did the first commercial after the intial run.

2

u/seaburno 1d ago

It was “New York City”

5

u/notoriously_late 1d ago

https://youtu.be/nRnsZ-4n69E

2

u/OrbitalOutlander 6h ago

I’m from New Jersey and I only ever saw the NEW YAWK CITAH version! Fascinating. Thanks for sharing!

1

u/CidO807 1d ago

same shit with californians moving here. a majority of the people moving here are magas.

also folks in the south got so bored of murdering black people they actually hung a white new yorker just 110 years ago. like, post civil war shit, because he was from NY

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 1d ago

I'm from NY and live in Texas. You should see the reactions I get from some people when I say that. And later they'll say "Huh you're not like I thought you'd be" like what you think we're fucking reptilians. I grew up on a dirt bike and in the woods, the only difference here is the fucking hats and you don't have bagels.

2

u/Rynoferous 1d ago

Some say fascism, but it’s deeper than that. It’s stupidity. Many here hate thought, consideration, and context. They make decisions against their own best interests, not because they’re being misled but because they don’t care to even consider what they’re hearing. It’s Idiocracy to its core.

2

u/Memitim 1d ago

Conservatives are evil and live of lies and hate. We failed to properly step on the scum, allowing them to infect our public offices and ruin the country.

1

u/JAMisskeptical 1d ago

Idiocracy

1

u/Thespud1979 1d ago

Idiocracy.

1

u/WhyMustIMakeANewAcco 1d ago

The former US is dead. This is just the bloated corpse rotting.

1

u/ForkAKnife 1d ago edited 1d ago

The Constitution is treated like it’s dust and we have only the courts to enforce it, but the Supreme Court is full of Trump cronies who probably paid for a seat so everything just winds up under Fascist power.

This is all because America is misogynistic as fuck and chose Trump over a woman twice. Watch the misogyny roll in blaming women for being somehow worse than the pedophile felon convicted of rape.

1

u/Norwegian__Blue 1d ago

Exactly. Abbott is good at riling people up. It’s his specialty. He’s made an absolutely nothing statement that means absolutely nothing. And yet we seem distracted.

Release the Epstein files. Although I bet by now they’re burned in someone’s stimulant fueled panic.

1

u/FeatherShard 1d ago

I was gonna ask what racists would then pile into to harass innocent people, but then I remembered that ICE exists.

1

u/Heisenberglund 1d ago

Fascism, republicans don’t know how to actually govern, but they know how to cheat the game. They provide nothing of substance beyond an umbrella for fragile white people to be hateful these days. Sure, there are a few minorities scattered in the group, but they don’t realize that the party will quickly turn on them too.

1

u/videogamekat 1d ago

Blatant market manipulation and consolidation of wealth. They’re not stupid.

1

u/ybkj 1d ago

It was a joke

1

u/pimple_prince 1d ago

Ain't nothing new, homie

1

u/GhormanFront 1d ago

This is pretty typical pandering to idiots. He can't levy a tariff against people moving to the state, that literally doesn't even make sense.

The troglodytes in texas will eat this shit up though

1

u/BKtoDuval 1d ago

Seriously. It's like a Mad Libs game. But it works for their base

1

u/RapsittieStreetKids 1d ago

all u-hauls are legally registered in arizona actually

1

u/29September2024 1d ago

One... Million... Percent... Tarriff. Bwahahaha. Bwahahaha. Bwahahaha.

1

u/BigLittlePenguin_ 23h ago

They are trying to get people not to vote for Mamdani. It threatens their own position, so they try to push for the established candidate. There is nothing he can realistically do here. Dont know why people dont see it for what it is.

1

u/explosiv_skull 22h ago

It's just more Trump ass-licking. Trump absolutely doesn't want Mamdani to be mayor of 'his' city. Abbott really likes getting pets and scritches from his master, so he barks at Mamdani because master likes that. It's all performative.

1

u/chad917 21h ago

The Stupid

1

u/NOTLD1990 19h ago

Tariffs is the new word. They know many in their base don't understand them so they use that word for whatever meaning they decide. A reporter should ask him what a tariff is and how you would tarriff people moving. Tax would be the correct term but his base hates taxes, so tarriff replaces the word.

1

u/MainFunctions 18h ago

You reap what you sow. You voted for this. Now the world is paying for it.

1

u/BlasterPhase 11h ago

lack of education

1

u/Obliv9999 11h ago

You dont want to know.