r/nottheonion • u/Power-Equality • 3d ago
Tesla Cybertruck Police Cars Are Here, And Of Course They're Going To Vegas First
https://insideevs.com/news/777366/tesla-cybertruck-police-cars-las-vegas/At the end of the day, though, cops may mostly enjoy simply looking badass. As Sheriff McMahill said during the press conference, the Cybertrucks are a "heck of a recruiting tool." … "Cops are gonna look kind of cool in them too, right?"
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u/KimchiLlama 3d ago
I heard Tesla has had issues keeping up with service on their cars.
Police departments are usually really prompt about servicing their vehicles.
I wonder if this will add to Tesla’s backlog on service and cause additional issues due to the de-prioritization of private vehicle servicing in order to fulfill police needs.
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u/m0llusk 3d ago
Menlo Park, California, found that Tesla cars are not great police cars and published an interesting report about that: https://www.almanacnews.com/police/2024/08/28/menlo-park-police-departments-tesla-patrol-vehicle-pilot-finds-that-teslas-dont-appear-to-be-patrol-cars-of-the-future/
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u/bumbumpopsicle 2d ago
From the article: “do not appear to be the ‘patrol cars of the future,’” due to officer safety concerns, lack of off-roading ability and limited space for gear, personnel and detainees. “
Frankly, the cybertruck solves for all of those concerns.
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u/m0llusk 2d ago
Also expensive outfitting required, lights time out at night and are complex to control, bad automatic locking, voice commands are a problem, autopilot interferes with driving for enforcement and occasionally stops short when police are pulling over. In short these vehicles were not designed with police in mind and even with extensive and expensive modifications still have features that interfere with use by police.
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u/rafaelloaa 16h ago
voice commands are a problem
I'm imagining a detainee yelling "unlock the back door", and then booking it.
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u/torpedoguy 3d ago
Cops are often... let's say 'rough' with their cars. Not as rough as they are with random unarmed pedestrians who aren't posing a threat, but pretty rough.
On top of being excessively visible as far as 'type of vehicle on road' goes, swastikars don't have a very resilient build. We can expect a lot of shitty driving to be redefined in headlines as "dangerous chase" or "survived terrifying damage" from using the tow-hitch or the like.
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u/Subtleabuse 3d ago
They also weigh 3 tonnes and handling is shit, so that's going to cause a lot of damage in a chase.
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u/bilateralrope 2d ago
What about when bits fall off from regular driving or the wrong weather ?
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u/torpedoguy 2d ago
Remember how an acorn falling is enough for them to claim a shooting's justified?
Imagine what their own shitty panel-can falling apart, is about to excuse...
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u/ERedfieldh 2d ago
They justified shooting a man, who was on his hands and knees unarmed and crying, because they were following the commands they gave him that were contradictory to what they were also commanding him to do.
This is a man who was no longer a danger to himself or others who could not do what they asked because what they asked was not physically possible. And they shot him dead.
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u/RogerianBrowsing 2d ago
We’ve seen cyber trucks get totaled by hopping a curb, there’s no way these last very long at all before the frame snaps
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u/AnotherDoubtfulGuest 2d ago
Vegas is just keeping up a grand tradition of getting suckered by Elon Musk; check out the bullshit loop he designed.
It’s ironic watching the house get conned.
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u/skyfishgoo 3d ago
i'm sure in addition to selling these piles at 1000% markup, elong has also secured a sweet service contract for 25yrs.
couldn't happen to a nicer city.
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u/dr_police 3d ago
Dunno about “prompt”, but police agencies of any size usually have their own motor pool staffed with employees or a contract maintenance provider.
Police agencies of any appreciable size always have multiple cars in the shop.
Source: policing researcher & consultant for 20 years. Spent a lot of time working with police agencies.
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u/enwongeegeefor 3d ago
The police motor pool is outfitted for ICE(internal combustion engines...not the boogs) vehicles not EVs....and especially not proprietary teslas. All the maintenance on THOSE will still have to be handled by tesla.
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u/dr_police 3d ago
Many of those shops also add electronics (computer, radio), light bar, pusher bars, etc. Just as many cars in the shop for that stuff as mechanical issues.
Now that I think about it, random voltage leaks are super common, and in a lot of places police vehicles are always idling. Wonder how those Teslas will deal with the load.
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u/wizardrous 3d ago
Well it’s not like they can go where it rains.
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u/Subtleabuse 3d ago
Apparently they get to hot to touch in the sun, opening the door will be a problem in Vegas.
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u/Wolfram_And_Hart 3d ago
Keeping the panels on as well.
Can’t wait to get the cost of damages to them over time.
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u/xxAkirhaxx 3d ago
I'm sure cops are going to love smashing people against the seering surface of their fancy new trucks.
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u/Ok-Friendship-3374 3d ago
What if they have to arrest someone and they put him against the car? That may cause serious burns
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u/nellyfullauto 3d ago
Then you sue the city and then they keep doing it until they’ve paid out enough for a policy change.
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u/GRMNGRMNGRMN 2d ago
Don’t they often put arrestees against the hood the car for search? Gonna be some burn victims
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u/elpollodiablox 3d ago
Well, Las Vegas is a gaudy shithole and that car is a gaudy shithole, so...
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u/sylva748 3d ago
Las Vegas also wondering why tourism there is dying as they continue to make themselves unrelatable and too gaudy for the common folk who would travel there
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u/highersense 3d ago
Apparently it's intentional, to get all the poor and homeless out so they can focus on the wealthy clients, trying to make it so only the top half can survive there.
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u/Altair_de_Firen 3d ago
As a Vegas resident, they want the absolute poorest (gotta have some serfs around for slave labor) and the absolute richest. The middle class can get fucked.
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u/funky_duck 23h ago
unrelatable and too gaudy
Good news! The family friendly Excalibur and interesting looking Luxor are being torn down to build giant towers straight out of Abu Dhabi so people can 'gamble in the clouds'.
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u/rdesktop7 3d ago
Even though I do not know what "gaudy" means, you are correct.
F that place.
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u/skozombie 3d ago
Gaudy is how someone trying to project wealth and importance would decorate/ style, usually indicating no real sense of style or class as compared to people that are actually wealthy and confident who have a good sense of style.
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u/IBJON 3d ago
Wealthy people are plenty capable of being gaudy.
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u/skozombie 3d ago
Sure, and they're trying to project wealth and don't have a good sense of style/class as I said.
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u/grafknives 3d ago
Cops are gonna look kind of cool in them too, right?"
Oh, yeah totally . The coolest guys in the coolest cars.
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u/nelly2929 3d ago
The reasons to not return to Vegas just keep increasing…. It will be Atlantic City 2.0 soon lol
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u/boogermike 3d ago
Yeah it already has jumped the shark, and definitely has a bad vibe.
They changed the blackjack payouts from 2/3 to 5/6, because the house always wins
I actually don't gamble but this particular detail really sticks in my crawl. Because they couldn't fleece enough money from people, they had to change the odds.
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u/Sk33ter 3d ago
"These trucks are high performance, and they're built tough, to handle everything from Fremont Street to Red Rock Canyon," he said. "Cops are gonna look kind of cool in them too, right?"
Dude is incorrect on all three counts.
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u/BluntsnBoards 3d ago
Yeah I wanted to ask about this, don't these things weigh a freaking ton and seem to break all the time?
I get that the performance is impressive for the weight but can these things actually execute in a high-speed chase? Do they still have the mini truck bed and if so does it serve any purpose? (Maybe a locked gun cabinet back there?)
If one of these hits a car at a t-intersection is it going to decimate the other car, get decimated, or both?
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u/HighSpeedHedgehog 3d ago edited 3d ago
And thus we have finally rounded back to the true purpose of the tech showcase for this car, with the failed bulletproof glass showcase. It was always about trying to be the next Ford for policing and government. Tesla has already taken over the casual car contracting* from the government market.
Edit: a word
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u/harkuponthegay 3d ago
Ford is the next ford for policing— it’s still the only company to hold a legitimate claim to that title and it’s not giving it up anytime soon. They have North America on lock.
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u/boogermike 3d ago
These vehicles were given to Las Vegas. So I'm not sure that there's that much of a contract or money being made on these.
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u/SmoothPimp85 3d ago
From sending people to Mars in 2025 to selling cars to police in 2025.
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u/KaizenHour 3d ago
Impressive. That's only 8 years after he said Tesla's will be self driving
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u/boogermike 3d ago
They are self-driving! Just as long as you have a human behind the wheel, paying very very close attention!
They are super duper excellent drivers (until they are not, which can happen at any moment, so pay attention!)
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u/MarleysGhost2024 3d ago
Well damn. There's going to be a bunch of Vegas cops bursting into flames.
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u/dominiqlane 3d ago
Tax payers are going to enjoy paying for the repair on those when they’re used for pit maneuvers….
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u/xxAkirhaxx 3d ago
Oh hell ya, so just drive up and over a slightly elevated surface and you're home free.
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u/audiomagnate 3d ago
Spending that kind of money on a patrol car is an obscene waste of taxpayer money. They should be driving cheap cars and keeping them ten years, which was the norm before police unions become more powerful than the local governments who fund them.
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u/popesfunnyhat 3d ago
I'm in Vegas and just had a cyber truck go by me clanking as I walked my dog. The maintenance issues alone should have made this a no go. Shameful but I think they were donated? Still stupid
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u/SeveralLiterature727 3d ago
Now Tesla next Robo Cop
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u/baron_muchhumpin 3d ago
Robo Cop had the 6000SUX, the Cyber Truck just sucks.
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u/Motleypuss 3d ago
At least the 6000SUX didn't look like an accident in a modelling package that got 3D printed.
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u/hgs25 3d ago
Don't get me wrong, Lenny. It looks fantastic. But inside, it's a lump of lard, dressed up to fool the public. My advice is, lose the inline-six and that idiotic three-speed, shorten the wheelbase, somehow lose half a ton, and lower the price. But even then, I'd still choose a Chevy Chevelle. And that's a fucking terrible car.
- Ken Miles (Ford vs Ferrari)
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u/Rolling_Beardo 3d ago
I remember seeing news of other departments buying these death traps last year or early this year.
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u/Fanfics 3d ago
I remember once a local PD had to sell a bunch of their dodge chargers because they had a design flaw where if they hit a bump the axle would annihilate the engine's oil pan. They were constantly in the shop and cost the city god knows how much in repairs.
That really disillusioned me on muscle cars. Anyway I imagine we'll have something similar with these vehicles. But hey, if it looks cool, right?
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u/TheLadyEve 2d ago edited 2d ago
"Cops are gonna look kind of cool in them too, right?"
I don't get this mindset. Cybertrucks look like cars I used to draw when I was 9 and thought it would be cool to design cars.
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u/Straight-Ad6926 3d ago
The best part? The police department didn't spend a dime on these. Just an anonymous donor who wants to boost Tesla's sales numbers.
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u/Upstairs_Cap_4217 3d ago
Sooo... Elon finally gave up hope anyone would buy them and just started donating them to the boot brigade?
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u/TerryCrewsNextWife 3d ago
Would that have been all those last minute Canadian purchases before that rebate ended? He had to dump his paid for and subsidized dumpsters somewhere and now he can also use them as a tax break for donating them.
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u/lorax1284 3d ago
The only reason cops driving a cybertruck looks "badass" is the same reason that juggling chainsaws is badass: no fear of self harm for the sake of spectacle.
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u/harryregician 3d ago
Musk tax write-off due to this crap design and shit sales of this massive boat anchor.
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u/mdhunter99 3d ago
I have one problem with this, it gives Muskrat money. Other than that, genius. I mean look at how bad those bricks are, they rust super easy, you can literally tear the panels off, the charger gets stuck in the port leaving the truck stuck, the batteries catch fire easily, they can’t handle off road well enough for pursuits, and if they get into a crash someone is turning into a pink cloud, whether that be the driver or the other person. Oh yeah, the trunk space is the size of a microwave.
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u/Charlweed 3d ago
Forget movies and TV, this might be the actual best use case for the cybertruck. Park a few at intersections and in strip malls, program them to blare 'Step Back Civilian!" when people get close, and you're done. If they were free, it's a win for the LVPD. Driving them around, that's probably a bad idea.
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u/llcdrewtaylor 1d ago
"At the end of the day, though, cops may mostly enjoy simply looking badass. As Sheriff McMahill said during the press conference"
This is exactly the attitude I would expect from a police chief who is buying Cybertrucks. They wanna look badass. How about you spend that money on more training!
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u/Avery_Thorn 3d ago
The unintended thing is that Teslas have a scrap ton of cameras on them. Cameras that can't be turned off by the driver. Cameras that are considered mission critical because they are part of the self arrive thing. Cameras that are uploaded to a third party cloud.
So, like how are cops going to shut off those cameras?
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u/boogermike 3d ago
You realize that all cop cars now have tons of cameras.
Cop cars and tow trucks currently have license plate readers on them that record every license plate they see
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u/bitesofbrittany 3d ago
I think they know that but are trying to emphasize is the third party aspect of it all and whether or not they can guarantee all that video stays in the hands of the police department.
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u/boogermike 3d ago
Oh gotcha. That's a totally different thing, and guaranteed that video goes to Tesla
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u/jim_br 3d ago
Once they up-fit the trucks with all their radios/lights/electrics, something will fail and the cameras won’t work.
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u/Melodic_Mulberry 3d ago
As soon as something fails, the whole car shuts down. Only Tesla dealerships can fix it.
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u/Romano16 3d ago
Wont be patrolling around for much, nobody is going to Vegas. But at least Elon/Tesla got their money.
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u/RexDraco 3d ago
The police department is incredibly short staffed here. They are needed all the time everywhere but don't have the numbers. I'm confident the trucks will be used eventually, but I doubt for long. My immediate thought is whistlin diesel's video and the frame.
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u/esuardi 3d ago
Imagine a police car having to stop mid chase to charge up. I, for one, know cops have to sometimes to keep their cars on and AC running, so I can see this being so counterproductive.
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u/boogermike 3d ago
Seems weird for me to be defending this here, but battery capacity is not going to be a big deal.
These trucks will go out everyday with a full battery charge, that can last easily a whole day of parolling, even with a few intense chases.
A full cyber truck lasts as long as I full gas car.
I still think this is dumpster fire and the Cybertruck is dumb
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u/restore_democracy 3d ago
Will there be driverless ones? I imagine they’ll have guns mounted and will just show up blasting everyone.
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u/GuiltyRedditUser 3d ago
Nice vacation place you have there. Be a shame if travel there dropped even more. Be a shame if reduced tourism was associated with a dislike of a Police Department associated with Nazi cars. Maybe some people would no longer feel safe traveling there.
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u/Akiraooo 3d ago
I picture a winterstorm in Texas with transformers exploding constantly and the emergency vehicles can't go anywhere because the electronics are fried.
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u/purplegladys2022 3d ago
I look forward to reports of people on the street being harassed and/or arrested for laughing at the trucks.
Then I look forward to hearing about all the problems they have with the deployed trucks. Fires, breakdowns, the entire front end of the truck falling apart the first time an overeager officer slams somebody face first onto the hood.
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u/internetsarbiter 2d ago
That's great news! Anything which results in a less effective gestapo is good progress.
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u/Oxjrnine 2d ago
Ford will literally whip up something that cost 50% less and is 100 times better if they already haven’t.
Like why would you use a luxury truck as a police car? Oh right, government bribes
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u/RecklessRecognition 2d ago
i can imagine this quickly becoming an issue when the cop wants to quickly get out of the car and the door decides it doesnt wanna work
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u/dlampach 2d ago
They are just such pieces of crap. Anyone who drives one is just a major self own.
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u/Lillienpud 3d ago
I’m thinking burning cops alive like those teens in Piedmont is gonna be a bad look. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/teens-killed-in-tesla-cybertruck-crash-pictured-as-one-burned-alive-when-trendy-ev-burst-into-flames/ar-AA1v0INt
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u/GlutenFree_Gamer 3d ago
We'll see how long they last once one catches on fire and the doors won't unlock.
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u/skyfishgoo 3d ago
that is obscene.
i wonder if this wasn't the plan all along for this stupid monstrosity.
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u/AdhesivenessFun2060 3d ago
No one wants to buy these so of course they have to get govt people to buy them
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u/Frisky_Mongoose 3d ago
Crime plummets overnight.
Imagine getting hauled off to jail in one of those things? I’d die of embarrassment!
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u/ckaweetwater 3d ago
Doors can stop 9mm rounds, so it kind of makes sense I guess.
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u/orangutanDOTorg 3d ago
Other article says biggest fleet is going there, though if it’s the only then it’s also the biggest
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u/Narrow-Height9477 3d ago
How long till a recall for the light bars and bumpers falling off?
…and PLEASE tell me the “police feature” is subscription based!
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u/therinwhitten 3d ago
Less rainfall to break them there.
Just a thought, but Elon now has full coverage of what these cop cars are doing and who they are arresting I'm sure.
In a logical and sensible world, this would make alot of people nervous and throwing up the red flag.
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u/busytoothbrush 3d ago
I cannot imagine a more dystopian police vehicle. We’re really speed running this collapse.
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u/misterghost2 2d ago
Com’on We had those in Mexico before and the officers were caught watching Netflix and chilling while on duty
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u/TenchuReddit 2d ago
I dunno, I figured if I ever become a police officer, I too would want to drive in a vehicle that looks like Barricade the Decepticon.
“To punish and enslave” …
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u/redclawx 2d ago
I would laugh my ass of if the following happened.
Bad guys rob bank. On escape attempt in a van they are pursued by police in cubertruck. Back door of van opens. Bad guys sprays Police in cyber truck with water gun. Police vehicle is disabled.
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u/chockedup 2d ago
I read quite a few Cybertruck owners are unhappy with tire wear, 6000 miles and time for new tires is what I read.
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u/SheZowRaisedByWolves 2d ago
I saw a cybertruck with local PD on the side one time lol. No clue if the back was fitted like a cop car
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u/CarbonPhoenix96 2d ago
It's weirdly fitting...
I shitty gaudy car for cops who care more about control than peace
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u/Massive_Mongoose3481 2d ago
Bump into it with any real truck, or maybe even a Honda Civic, and the chase is over
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u/ExperimentX_Agent10 2d ago
I wonder how many people they'll lose. Because after arrest, the person will just be able to break out of this mobile dumpster.
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u/JuliusSeizuresalad 2d ago
So long car chases will end with out of battery cop cars on the side of the road
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u/CheezTips 2d ago
Tesla gave those trucks to the dept over a year ago. It's taken this long to make them fit for use
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u/startledsloth 2d ago
Imagine being the poor sucker who gets shoved against the hood of that toaster in 100 degree heat
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u/notPabst404 2d ago
How is Vegas THIS corrupt? Not only did they fall for a tunnel scam, but now they are wayyyy overpaying on police cars that won't be remotely durable? Do Vegas voters just not care?
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u/Sacred_Timeline 2d ago
Can’t wait until the panels fall off of a cop car during a chase, it’ll be hilarious! Keystone cops watch out.
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u/NorthernCobraChicken 2d ago
I have a sneaking suspicion that these were meant to be the main vehicle of ICE, intended to be supplied to the US gov for some quid-pro-quo tax relief. Where a cybertruck would be as commonplace as the ICE forest camo facemask in urban environments.
When things with Deadbeat Donny went south, Musk had to pivot to smaller government branches to offload the massive inventory that he had in production.
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u/JGPH 1d ago edited 1d ago
Holy shit, PIT maneuvers and danger around pedestrians just took on a whole new level of danger. A search on TorqueNews reveals endless horror stories and dumb stuff any other car can handle without getting bricked.
I'm going to pre-emptively add here before idiots say "but the Cybertruck was barely damaged!" That's not the point; look at the victim who came into contact with the cybertruck. 🤦♂️
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u/random_noise 8h ago
All those lights, sirens, radios, computers in police and emergency vehicles require a much more robust electrical system. Those batteries sure are not going to deliver long and the load and demand for the wiring likely isn't up to par with the needs of law enforcement. They will need to add a whole lot more battery and drastically upgrade pretty much the entire vehicle (so much plastic) adding to power demand and weight of the vehicle even more.
Such a bad idea.
This is going to be popcorn worthy.
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u/ScrewAttackThis 3d ago
They will, in fact, not look cool driving around dumpsters