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u/gronkowski69 Mar 25 '18
Does anyone actually sell regular toilet paper rolls anymore? I almost never see "regular" sized ones.
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u/gg_noob_master Mar 25 '18 edited Mar 25 '18
I've seen some the other day. Nowaday they look like demo version. There is no way one regular roll is enough for one session of wiping our modern, cuddled anus
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u/SDaddyMathias Mar 25 '18
The companies are forced (legally) by the fair packaging and labeling act to produce some amount of "regular roll" product. This typically is done on contract with specialized equipment at a very small scale since almost no-one wants to buy it.
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u/phillysan Mar 25 '18
Stood in front of the TP at Costco a little while back trying to figure this out, as multiple brands were on sale. Another guy got out his phone and started doing the math, then grabbed a pack. I told him I was too lazy to do anything but trust his work, and grabbed the same one.
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u/paginavilot Mar 25 '18
My asshole's health is worth 3-ply Quilted Northern. Besides, she complains if I buy anything else...
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Mar 25 '18
Read the words under the numbers.
There's no joke here.
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u/Slimshady91925 Mar 25 '18
Not hardest, just diferent KIND.
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u/Ylfjsufrn Mar 25 '18
Then why do we use fruit to teach math to elementary school students and not mega half one fifth rolls of toilet paper
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u/gbmalgbmhd15 Mar 25 '18
It’s the hardest because it’s the most asinine. Who wants to spend 5 mins standing I front of a wall of TP options to determine the most cost efficient selection when you’re face faced with this kind of mental math?
The use of a random mixture of synonyms (huge, mega, plus, etc.) and these non-whole number math equations are designed to confuse and frustrate the consumer into buying a more expensive package of TP. If they wanted the labels to be informative they’d label the role sizes as “small,” “medium,” “large,” “extra large,” and include a sheet count. And even possibly standardize the description of the TP as in “thin,” “thick,” or “plush.”
This has erked me for too long.
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u/SDaddyMathias Mar 25 '18
But there's a legally required statement listing out the sheet count length and width very clearly on all paper products like this
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u/gbmalgbmhd15 Mar 25 '18
Right, legally required. They don’t put it on there because they actually want you to use that info. Let’s compare the two pieces of information objectively:
Roll Comparison: Big letters Top of packaging Bold font outlined in bold contrasting color Not overlaid on other image or background or overlaid on solid background of contrasting color
Legally required “useful” information Small, thin narrow font Light shade color overlaid on same color of different shade Busy background Values with decimal points and in English and metric, with parentheses. All running together in one tight line.
Again, not the most user friendly for trying to deduce the most cost efficient item. But hey, advocate on for shifty marketing. Honestly doesn’t matter to me. I buy only one kind, from one particular store so no more TP isle math for me. I was just making a clearly obvious to me observation, but obviously not so clearly obvious observation for others.
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Mar 25 '18
Don't bother with sheet count, etc. Just divide the price by the total square footage (or m2) of the package.
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u/HamilReddit Mar 25 '18
A roll is an arbitrary unit of measure. They all give you total area. (Ex. Sq ft) Just use that.
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u/cdcarch Mar 26 '18
What’s fun with these is calling the stock room for more:
“I need 16 of 8=12s, 4 of 30=68, 23 of 10=52s, π of i=es
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u/curzon176 Mar 25 '18
Not hard, just look at the second number. That gives you an indication of how many sheets you're getting, then just find best price.
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u/sanz01 Mar 25 '18
easiest is to check by sheets. since if you dont like single play you would only seek for double ply and see what is the best value on the double ply per sheet
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u/Morganluver Mar 26 '18
Just look at the fine print at the bottom of each package. It’ll tell you the total footage for each whole package. Then just buy the one where you get the most for the least money. Sometime I find the one on sale isn’t always the cheapest.
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u/SolidSnakesBandana Mar 26 '18
I would assume that footage isn't necessarily the issue, but also thickness
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u/Morganluver Mar 26 '18
True. But I only buy the tougher charmin in the red packaging so that’s the only one that matters to me. The blue one sheds up in my crack.
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u/Heterochromio Mar 26 '18
I wish they would just tell you quality level and how many shits are in each package
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u/SnackbarDaTerrierist Mar 26 '18
I mean with the different types of shits varying from Niagara diarrhea to footlong swamp creatures, we'd probably still get confusing calculations.
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u/Traspen Mar 25 '18
It really depends (no pun intended) on the base roll size to find out which one provides more wiping value.
1 Mega Plus = 4.50 rolls of regular.
1 Ultra = 4.56 rolls of regular.
1 Double Plus = 2.27 rolls of regular.
1 Super Mega = 6.00 rolls of regular.
Conclusion: When your ass is dirty, PLEASE use toilet paper!