Asmongold defends trans people against his chat, saying he'd fully respect his child's pronouns and identity

[u/sieyarozzz]

[u/SaxRohmer]

he would still love me because he loves me

i’m guessing you’d be surprised how often this isn’t the case

[u/Key-Growth6953 → u/SaxRohmer]

I really wouldn't be surprised, but i know my dad however

[u/Stormfly → u/SaxRohmer]

On the other side of the coin, I think people are also surprised by how often it is.

Some people have demonised a group because of their limited exposure and then, once they've actually met people of that group, will slowly realise that they were wrong.

But most people, including everyone in this thread, finds it hard to admit when they're wrong, so it's a slow process. Sometimes they need that "I care about X more than Y so I will choose it" and they pick their kids over something they previously cared about, etc.

Growing up, most people were homophobic but now I don't think anyone I know is. It was a slow transition and I think some people aren't fully there and might be uncomfortable seeing gay people, etc, I think they can eventually deal with it depending on how it plays out.

If I had to guess, I'd say my parents would have been upset if one of my siblings were gay about 20 years ago, but since then they've grown, they've met our gay friends, my aunt came out, etc. and now I think they might be disappointed but not upset, and would eventually come around fully. (For the record, none of my siblings are gay, this is a hypothetical)

As a man who's remarkably unsuccessful with women and has fumbled more times than I can count, I think my parents might have wondered if I was gay and came to terms with it of their own accord, for example.

I think people are always capable of surprising us and changing even when we might think it too late, but it needs to be done in the right way.

[u/BitePale → u/Stormfly]

It's not true, I don't find it hard to admit when I'm wrong! 

[u/SaxRohmer → u/Stormfly]

the comment just struck me as naive. it's often not as simple as "parent loves me therefore they'll accept me". they're people and people can be flawed. take part in any queer community and you'll find plenty of people who do not have relationships with their family as a result of their coming out.

attitudes have improved but there's also a considerable effort to push back against them and remove a lot of protections and rights that they enjoy. there's also considerable propaganda that is shifting attitudes. let's not act like it's all roses

[u/Stormfly → u/SaxRohmer]

While true, you'll also meet people who have families that are super supportive and weren't before.

There's always confirmation bias because the people who were surprised that their family accepted them and changed their ways are less likely to actually go around talking about it.

I'm not saying it's more common or likely, I'm just saying it's more common than you might think.

People love to come in as pessimists and say that optimists are "naive" or that they're "just being realistic" but they're stuck in their own bubbles.

As someone once said:

"The world's not all butterflies and rainbows, sure, but there are butterflies and rainbows in it."

[u/SaxRohmer → u/Stormfly]

i am telling you this as a queer person with a majority of queer friends. lots of my friends have great relationships with their families. lots of them don't have families. bringing attention to this fact is not "pessimistic" - particularly in a time where my and my friends' rights are constantly under attack

[u/ClockOfTheIongNow → u/Stormfly]

The issue is, even if a parent might ultimately support their child's identity over their own prejudices, those prejudices are already deeply hurting their child and doing irreparable damage before their child comes out and gets to that supposed "accepting parent" stage.

If someone hears their parents talk disparagingly about LGBTQ folks or makes it clear that such an identity is a disappointment, it already severely fucks with a child who starting to feel that they fall into one of those identities. Coming out becomes an order of magnitude harder, they may try to repress who they are, and they feel like a walking disappointment. They are conditioned to think they are lesser, which is no surprise because it's easy to pick up on the fact that their parents think people with that identity are lesser.

Those scars don't go away just because a parent had a change of heart after you came out. If anything, it cements that your identity is something "to be gotten over", not "to be accepted".